Thank You, SH, for asking me to contribute to this blog. For those who do not know me, I am dh, and I am a real life submissive (slave, actually, but for the purposes of this blog, submissive will do). I met SH a few months ago, and when He asked if I would contribute to this blog, I said yes. I actually find it hard to talk about myself, but for my first article, I do think an introduction is in order.
I started chatting about 15 years ago, after my last divorce. I had no clue about computers or chat or anything really, so when someone I met on yahoo chat told me about a larger chat site, I was intrigued. For the first year or so, I spent all my chat time in the cyber rooms. And boy, were my eyes opened wide. I had no clue that there were people out there who thought of sex in so many diverse, perverted, and yes, deviant ways (and I mean all that in the most positive way). I did not know what bdsm was, or that all my deep feelings concerning submission and giving myself to a Man completely was normal – that I was not some kind of freak of nature or a monstrosity or worse. I roamed from room to room, looking for…..something, I did not know what. Then one day, I met a Man who would change the course of my life forever.
I was sitting in a room, not talking to anyone, when this stranger said hello to me. When He did, something inside said talk to Him. We began chatting, casually at first. Within 45 minutes, I was asking if we could talk on the phone. I could sense the power in Him just from His voice. I could sense how this Man was real, that He could change my life and make me into something special. He knew what and who I was from the answers I gave to His questions. And when He asked me how much I loved pain, well…..my whole insides turned to aching fire. I’ve never before had such an intense profound reaction to someone.
When we talked about that day, and we did many times, He always said I challenged Him to show me something I’d never seen before. I don’t remember that, but I am sure it is true, for He did show me something I’d never seen before – the joys of pain, the joys of being controlled, and eventually, the joys of being owned. He always was completely honest to me, open to a fault, cruel and relentless, even tender at times. But most of all, He controlled me as no Man ever had before or since then. He taught me so much, taught me who and what I am, taught me that there is nothing more powerful or exhilarating to a Man than a true submissive who will give her complete self to Him, freely and willingly.
I learned that lesson well, that my gifts were a joy to behold. Since then, I have had a few online Masters, another real life Master (who I may get around to writing about), have lived these last three years plus uncollared and free. But I have never forgotten that first One who taught me that there is freedom in the bdsm lifestyle, even when one is chained and owned – especially when one is chained and owned, for in giving of oneself totally, that is when one can finally be free.
More to come…..